To Find Life
by The Awester
Summary: "I don't even know who I am anymore!" I slammed my hand on the table before he grabbed my arms. "You are still you. You belong with me." *I own nothing but my thoughts*
1. The meeting

**_GUESS WHO'S BACK! BACK AGAIN?! It's just me! _**

**_Soo here's the start of the new revised To Find Life. I had originally wanted to write a three part story but then band and senior year started! So enjoy the story._**

**_AND REMEMBER:_**

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_I slid down the cold silver railing with my daunting black and midnight blue dress fluttering down around me. The guard on duty said nothing at my unusual behavior as he placed his hand on the wooden door and the other on my wrist._

_"Bravery." He whispered as I stepped close to him._

_"And courage." I whispered back. It was my family's motto that I ran my kingdom by and he opened the door for me to gracefully walk into my throne room where my gold and silver throne sat on a platform. I could hear the blood pounding in my ears as I turned and sat down. She stood tall with her crown melting slightly in front of me._

_"Daughter of Abraham." I glared at her black and soulless eyes._

_"What do you want? My father banned you from this country and I extended your banishment when I accepted this monarchy. Make it a good reason." My wolf guard stood up with her teeth bared._

_"It is simple my darling, I just claimed all of Narnia and since your little kingdom is a little off from Narnia, I figured: why not have Catalina rule with me."_

_"No. Get out seductress before I send my arrow in your neck." I stood up to leave before she ran up and grabbed my throat._

I gasped as I woke up. Ever since last December I've been having these weird flash backs. I'm only sixteen. I couldn't have been a Queen, I'm still in High school in America. I pulled on a pair of skinny jeans and a flannel and thought about the night that this all started. It still scares me.

_The rain beat down the window of my grandmother's car as we made our way home from shopping for my mother's birthday. I grasped the flowers tighter. I looked down and saw myself in a soft white dress that had a sweet heart neck line. The flowers cascaded to the ground softly. I looked up to the wood door in front of me before it melded into the window._

As I walked to my bus stop, snow began to fall in fat and fluffy flakes as I flicked the snow covered ground with my shoe. I was already hiking through last night's thick snow fall.

"Stupid Ohio." The snow hiked to pass my hips. "Jesus." I was struggling with the snow as it escalated up and up and up and up and up. I huffed as I mulled over my situation. Maybe being snowed in won't be bad. Maybe I'll be blessed to die young. There's worst ways to go I suppose. I took a gasping breath as the snow closed over the top of my head. I tried climbing to the top, but the snow melted into clear water. I closed my eyes at the burning salt water and swam to what felt like up. My once curled hair now danced around my head as I swam, my lungs burned, my flannel stuck to my body. Air, air, air. An arm reached around my waist and began to pull me down. I kicked as my lungs screamed. The stronger arm pulled me up. My lungs burned as water filled them. I let the person drag me down as I went down with them.

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**_IMPORTANT: THIS IS JUST THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THE REVISED VERSION SO IF YOU WANT TO KEEP READING, HAVE AT IT, JUST KNOW THAT IT MORE THAN LIKELY WILL BE CHANGED. _**


	2. The memory

Electricity coursed through my veins as I came to. Soft lips were on mine, breathing into my body. I shoved the person off of me and coughed up the burning water in my lungs before rubbing my eyes to get the salt out and opened them to see a pair of sunning, shimmering, brown eyes with concern laced within them.

"Kat?" He gently touched my face. I tensed up and moved away from him.

"Catalina, actually. Where the hell am I?" I looked around the ship with purple sails and the crew was a handful of people, Minotaurs, and fawns.

"You don't remember me at all do you?" He whispered. I shook my head.

"You look familiar, but I don't know." His brown eyes lit up as he grabbed my hand and I snatched my hand away.

"Edmund Pevensie. Your boyfriend?" I glared at him.

"Bull shit."

"Edmund, is that…" A young girl with a towel around her arms and wearing clothes from the forties looked down on me and squealed before hugging me. I hit my head on the wood and winced as she squeezed my ribs.

"Lucy stop. She doesn't remember you or Caspian." This Lucy girl let go of me and sat next to me.

"You do not remember me, Lucy?" I clasped my ruby necklace that I had always had and shook my head. "Edmund. Her necklace." I sat up and brushed my wet hair out of my face.

"I'm so confused. Will someone tell me what's going on?" A man with long brown hair and a bit of a beard stepped forward. He too was dripping wet.

"Welcome to the Dawn Treader, You are in Narnia."

"There isn't a place called Narnia on Earth." Edmund stood up.

"You are not on Earth anymore." This is crazy. I rubbed my eyes and sighed.

"What is your name lass?" A bald man glanced at me.

"Catalina." I fiddled my ring.

"Get that thing off of me!" Edmund held out his hand to help me up. I tentatively accepted it and let him pull me up.

"What was that?" I asked Edmund as he placed a towel around my shoulders before gently letting his hand fall down my spine and finally resting on my lower back.

"Eustace." Edmund growled. A mouse with a ring around its ear bounded over to us.

"Oh! Your majesties." He bowed low to them before glancing at me. "My Queen."

"Hello Reep, what a pleasure and this is Catalina." Edmund smiled warmly at Reep.

"She isn't..." Edmund shook his head and let go of me. "The pleasure is mine never the less. What should we do with this hysterical interloper?" I glanced down. There was no way I was this girl. This queen, they kept comparing me to. I pulled at my necklace.

"That giant rat just tried to claw off my face!" I faintly smiled at the chubby boy in front of me.

"I was merely trying to expel the water from your lungs, sire!" Reep yelled back.

"He just talked." Eustace's face paled.

"He always talks. It's getting him to shut up that's the problem." Caspian smiled before bounding up the stairs to the small platform above a door that lead below deck.

"When there is nothing to be said, then our highness, I will not say anything."

"I want to know where in the blazes I am!" Eustace yelled. He was already annoying.

"Can we just throw him to the sharks or something?" I put in. Edmund contemplated my question.

"Edmund!" Lucy gasped.

"You're on the Dawn Treader. The best ship in Narnia's navy." A massive Minotaur put in. Eustace passed out. "Was it something I said?" Caspian stepped forward.

"See to him, will you?" I moved as Caspian finished jogging up the stairs.

"Men, behold our castaways! King Edmund the Just, Queen Lucy the valet, and the Lady Catalina." The crew looked at me.

"But she looks like-"A fawn spoke up.

"She's not her." Edmund gently corrected. I pulled up my shoulders and Edmund placed a hand on my back. Caspian walked us down the stairs of the ship and to our rooms. I followed Lucy into our room and took off my wet clothes. She followed suit.

"How old are you, Lucy?" She opened the wardrobe.

"Thirteen, almost fourteen. How old are you?" She smiled at me.

"Seventeen." I moved to the wardrobe and pulled out a deep red top and a pair of black pants that were way to long on me.

"You look good in that." She glanced at me quickly. "Are you alright?"

"Not really. Who's this girl everyone thinks I am?"

"She was a spectacular girl from America who came to Narnia the second time we were here. She fought with us against Caspian's evil uncle. The question is, how did you sort of know Edmund?" She sat down next to me on our bed as I smiled and laid down and rubbed my eyes. They still stung from the water.

"I get these short visions of sorts."

"Do they give you head aches?" I nodded.

"Yeah. This is weird." Lucy gently pointed to my side.

"Do you know how you got these scars?" I shook my head.

"They appeared after the visions started." I mumbled.

"It's because you are her, Catalina."

"I can't be, I'm only seventeen! How can I possibly be a Queen when I know next to nothing about politics and I just…I can't."

"I was nine when I took the throne. If I can do it, so can you." Lucy stood up. "Ready?" I shrugged.

"I guess." We exited the small room and made our way down to a small office that had glass doors leading out to a balcony.

_"The king's lover. You're quite pathetic for a solder." Myraz stalked in front of where I hung in a field tent. _

"_I hope so. I did just enlist." A sharp slap to my jaw caused blood to ooze out of my already split lip, causing my smirk to die out. I spat blood at the so called 'king'. He brushed off the blood and took out a knife and slashed and hacked and stabbed and watched me bleed out slowly, painfully._

I grabbed my head as shooting pain coursed through my head. Edmund took my hand and sat me down next to him.

"Breathe. Just breathe." He whispered as he rubbed my back. The pain faded out as I opened my eyes. "Better?"

"Yeah, yes. Thanks. Excuse me." I stood up and walked out on to the balcony. The salty air warmed my skin. Catalina, I pulled up my top and scars danced on my body.

"Catalina," Edmund shut the door. "Caspian has important information for us." I pulled down my top the rest of the way before walking back in the office.

"Why are we here?" Edmund asked.

"I don' know. I've been asking myself the same thing. I'm searching for the seven lords." Caspian kept talking about his Uncle murdering his family.

"I have heard this story before. Like from a dream or a dream of a dream." I whispered to Lucy. Her head snapped up.

"What?" Caspian and Edmund looked at her.

"They disappeared to the Lone Islands?" Edmund glanced at me. "Unless you said something."

"Say it again Cat." Lucy glanced at Edmund.

"I've heard that story before? Like it was a dream or a dream of a dream?" I glanced at Edmund-his eyes spoke for himself. "What?"

"Caspian, Lucy can you excuse us for a second?" I glared at him as he patiently watched the duo leave the room.

"Your visions give you head aches, you know about Cat, you knew who I was when you came on this boat. You look just like her and you have her scars." I glared at him.

"I can't be. I cannot be that brave girl who was a warrior. I'm just a basic girl from a small town!" Edmund gently took my hand. Nerves bounded in my body making my senses hyperactive. I let him keep his grip on my hand. His eyes made me nervous, they saw right through me and could see the truth from the lies. It felt exhilarating. It felt frightening.

"You have a freckle on your hip." Edmund touched my hip.

_"Bravery and courage Catalina. That is what you told me. It's time to practice what you say."_

"Damn it!" I yelled as my head felt like it was exploding.

"Easy love. Just breathe." A white light blinded me as I collapsed into Edmund. "Come on Cat. Hang in there." He kissed the top of my head before picking me up and laying me down on his lap. I placed my head in my hands as the scenery changed. I wore the same dress as I, or Catalina, stood in front of Myraz and the other lords. The room got colder and my hair froze and Edmund shivered.

"Are you okay?" I nodded.

"What happened?" My breaths came out shaky and you could see my breath in the prison.

"He burned your side and branded you." He placed his hand on my side gently but even the light touch forced me to yelp and swat his hand away. "Put some ice on it." He handed me a cloth with ice wrapped in it.

"Because there isn't enough here already." He shivered. "Come here. Let's get you back to the rest." I opened my arms to him. A shooting pain shot through my head as soon as he touched me. I gasped and felt like my body burned at the temperature change. I opened my eyes. The Dawn Treader. Edmund.

"Cat?" I stood up and walked over to the mirror and lifted my shirt up and stared. I never cared to stare at the white marks. But now? I almost threw up. Large gashes crossed my skin along with the pre-existing white scars.

"Oh my Gosh. I am that girl." I stepped back from the mirror.

"I know, darling." Edmund wrapped his arms around my waist and looked in the mirror. I moved away from him.

"This doesn't make sense."

"Welcome to Narnia, none of it makes sense." I growled at him and shoved my way over to the table.

"That is not logical!"

"Neither is love, yet you and I fell in it ages ago." Edmund laughed bitterly. I growled.

"I don't even know who I am anymore!" I slammed my hand on the table before he grabbed my arms. "You are still you and you belong with me." He took my chin and kissed me. The world quit spinning as I kissed him back for the longest time and the shortest time.

"You trust me with your head, now trust me with your heart." Edmund mumbled against my lips before he gently hugged me.


End file.
